I am currently enjoying the sounds of Seu Jorge. Specifically, "Tive Razao" from his album, Cru. I was made aware of this artist by DJ Jamad.
I am too happy for the "introduction".
I drove up to O.r.lanod.o to visit a couple of folks this weekend. I wanted to leave on Friday around 3 to avoid rush hour but of course, that ain't happen. I left Mia.mi at 5:00pm - completely in the midst of standstill traffic. For two hours, I sat in bumper to bumper traffic, but I still made good headway. It's just that the sun had gone down about an hour into my drive so I started to get sleepy on some of those two lane roads.
Those mixed cds I made before I left came in handy right about then. :) The stop at the Yee.ha.w Ju.ncti.on helped out too. Else, ya girl woulda been done pee'd all on mah-self in the car.
Note to self: When you get off one main road on a long trip and start to feel like you may one day have to use the bathroom, stop at the FIRST major establishment you see - be it McDon.ald.'s, Che.vro.n or Chu.ck E. Che.e.se - 'cause it might be the ONLY major establishment in existence for the next 100 miles.
First stop was my girl Meli over in Lak.ela.nd, FL, who had had a baby girl on Thursday night at 10:23pm. Healthy little baby. Soooo cute. That baby had the darkest hair I have ever seen on a baby in my life. No lie. I just found that so odd. But she was really a cutie. I'm happy for Meli and I wish her the best.
Of course, I rolled up to the hospital long after visiting hours were over but I explained my situation to security and they let me up, gifts in tow. I wanted to sleep right alongside that baby, I was so tired. But I pressed on.
Got back on the road with not too far to go. But when you're sleepy, any piece of road feels like eternity. It was a straight shot to my best friend's house, so I dug in the crates (aka my portable cd bookcase) and found that Lil' Mo Meet the Girl Next Door, which took me alllll the way there. Mo be sayin' it, boy. She really do. "Doin' Me Wrong"??!!? That's my jizzam!! LOL! For real.
I remember, I used to listen to that cd allllll the time after I stopped dealing with this one dude. Felt like me and Mo was havin' personal conversations EVRAY-TAHM I listened to that cd. I would be singin', talkin' 'bout "You better SAY IT MO!". Mmm!
It's amazing that the same damn situations can be happening to people all over the world at the same time. It sho'll feel like you be the ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD goin' through that particular situation, but there are MILLIONS more going through it too.
On that stretch of road, it was only me and Mo at the time though. Me and Mo. She almost got me a speedin' ticket too! I was goin' so fast though, I prolly woulda ended up in J.AIL at the speed I was goin'. But that's what I needed to make it.
I rolled up to my girl's house, ate me a snack and gave that bed tha bidness!
But not before she asked to see the dress I would be wearing to her company's holiday party - which is when I realized I LEFT THE DRESS ON MY FRIGGIN' BED IN MY HOUSE IN MI.AMI!!!! I was SO upset, but not really, 'cause I ain't really wanna wear that dress anyway. :)
So Saturday was spent searching for the perfect CHEAP dress to wear to the party.
The party was off da chizzain. How.ie Mande.l was the friggin' host. Yes he was! LOL! And the B5.2's performed a FULL SHOW (which I didn't watch 'cause I couldn't stand up in my shoes any longer).
Lawd, I don't know what I'ma do if I get to the point where I can host a party like that! Nobody betta show up, 'cause if they do, they gon' be in for the time of their lives. I have never seen so many bars in one place. Mmmmm. :) LOL!!! And THEN, we had a FREE room for the night up in the hotel where the party was held. Lovely. That bed got THE bidness ('cause "tha" ain't a good enough description)! LOL!!!
Woke up the next morning bright and early but got held hostage, as is the usual, until the VERY last minute (actually, I left MUCH later than I wanted to). So instead of driving back to my house, I had to drive to my "volunteer" destination and "work".
Talk about TIRED.
I had yesterday off but I spent it with my cuz and her baby, who got her little ears pierced. In her fury, baby girl pee'd all over the doctor and pooped as soon as her pamper was secured. She was MAD. But only for a few minutes. She took it like a soldier. I can't imagine that pain at my age. Don't want to either...at least for right now.
My dream is to have one or both of my nipples pierced. I've been talkin' about it too much in the past. I'ma be about it in '07. Yup.
So, my life as it stands right now? I have done NO Christmas shopping. But I will not, I repeat, WILL NOT be in line at Walgreens on 12/24 at 11:57pm. I WILL NOT. I refuse to EVER do that again. So it seems as if I need to be getting on my grizzind tonight.
I hope I can muster up the strunf.
Lawd, help meh!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of these streets I shall not fear these streets 'cause I am these streets."
I saw that video on VH.1 Sou.l last night.
So much talent...
They say the most talented and most intelligent ones are the craziest.
So the past couple of days have been kinda...weird.
It seems like everyday, my no-relationship-having behind has been involved in PLENTY conversations about the idea or evidence of cheating in relationships.
One conversation ended up with me telling my compadre, out of sheer frustration over what seems like NO RESPECT for the institution of it, that "marriage ain't nothin' but havin' a permanent roommate". And I shook my head and rolled my neck from side to side when I said it too!
The status of things is just getting out of hand. It just seems like nobody has love or RESPECT for anybody anymore.
My coworker walked into the office today and her first words were not "good morning", as is her usual. They were "guys are IDIOTS!". She proceeded to get into how she just discovered that her husband was trying to creep creep on her ass and that the real reason she didn't come to work yesterday was 'cause she was kickin' his ass out the house.
A friend of mind, Miss E, said that her own father told her that if she expected a man to be faithful to a woman forever, she was living in a fantasy land...
I just don't understand it. I really don't.
And all that all of this information is doing is helping to increase my apathy towards the idea of a friggin' relationship. I mean, who wants to put themselves through some bullshit? Willingly?! Not-the-hell me! Not at all.
And people continue to have the nerve to ask why I'm single.
Why am I single? 'Cause my life is stressful and dramatified enough with the people that I have to deal with on a daily basis.
By the way, I had to tell my nervous momma (love her to death, bless her heart) she on hiatus AGAIN from riding in my car (this must be 'bout the 14th time). I had to say to her: "Ma, I think it's best for our relationship if you have your husband drive you home from work." EVERYDAY is nerve-wracking with her as a passenger in my car. Mind you, she Miss Daisy ALL DAY, gettin' driven around everywhere she want to go ON A DAILY BASIS. But she NEVER CEASES to complain about my driving. And it ain't personal, 'cause she do it to everybody. I just don't have it in me to have the same "discussion" (read: ARGUMENT) everyday about the rules of driving with her. So yeah - she's on BREAK. Periot. 'Specially if she wanna get something for Christmas from me this year! LOL!
But yeah, life is full of enough crap. Why, on top of all that, would I want to deal with some straight foolishness? Why?
I am not a sadist. I don't enjoy crying (I can count on 1 hand how many times I've cried in the past two years and I'll probably STILL have a couple fingers free). I don't enjoy stress-induced headaches and the like. I love my sleep too much to be losing it over some straight BULLSHAT!
And most of all, I'm quick to have the "I don't need yo ass" attitude and KEEP IT MOVING. I don' hurt a coupla feelings like that and I don't plan on NOT hurting anymore.
If a nigga ("I ain't gon' stop using it so they just gon' have to crucify me." a la Jim Jones) decide he wanna deal with me, he will always know the rules. That's how I roll. You get the rules up front, point blank, straight no chaser.
So if he decide to dance this dance with me and feel he is "man" enough to break the rules, prepare to get left on the dancefloor boo.
'Cause I don't play that shit.
Aiight. Quittin' time. Else I'd get more into this subject. Maybe I'll get more in depth another day as far as how I developed my trademark "I don't need yo ass" attitude.
So much talent...
They say the most talented and most intelligent ones are the craziest.
So the past couple of days have been kinda...weird.
It seems like everyday, my no-relationship-having behind has been involved in PLENTY conversations about the idea or evidence of cheating in relationships.
One conversation ended up with me telling my compadre, out of sheer frustration over what seems like NO RESPECT for the institution of it, that "marriage ain't nothin' but havin' a permanent roommate". And I shook my head and rolled my neck from side to side when I said it too!
The status of things is just getting out of hand. It just seems like nobody has love or RESPECT for anybody anymore.
My coworker walked into the office today and her first words were not "good morning", as is her usual. They were "guys are IDIOTS!". She proceeded to get into how she just discovered that her husband was trying to creep creep on her ass and that the real reason she didn't come to work yesterday was 'cause she was kickin' his ass out the house.
A friend of mind, Miss E, said that her own father told her that if she expected a man to be faithful to a woman forever, she was living in a fantasy land...
I just don't understand it. I really don't.
And all that all of this information is doing is helping to increase my apathy towards the idea of a friggin' relationship. I mean, who wants to put themselves through some bullshit? Willingly?! Not-the-hell me! Not at all.
And people continue to have the nerve to ask why I'm single.
Why am I single? 'Cause my life is stressful and dramatified enough with the people that I have to deal with on a daily basis.
By the way, I had to tell my nervous momma (love her to death, bless her heart) she on hiatus AGAIN from riding in my car (this must be 'bout the 14th time). I had to say to her: "Ma, I think it's best for our relationship if you have your husband drive you home from work." EVERYDAY is nerve-wracking with her as a passenger in my car. Mind you, she Miss Daisy ALL DAY, gettin' driven around everywhere she want to go ON A DAILY BASIS. But she NEVER CEASES to complain about my driving. And it ain't personal, 'cause she do it to everybody. I just don't have it in me to have the same "discussion" (read: ARGUMENT) everyday about the rules of driving with her. So yeah - she's on BREAK. Periot. 'Specially if she wanna get something for Christmas from me this year! LOL!
But yeah, life is full of enough crap. Why, on top of all that, would I want to deal with some straight foolishness? Why?
I am not a sadist. I don't enjoy crying (I can count on 1 hand how many times I've cried in the past two years and I'll probably STILL have a couple fingers free). I don't enjoy stress-induced headaches and the like. I love my sleep too much to be losing it over some straight BULLSHAT!
And most of all, I'm quick to have the "I don't need yo ass" attitude and KEEP IT MOVING. I don' hurt a coupla feelings like that and I don't plan on NOT hurting anymore.
If a nigga ("I ain't gon' stop using it so they just gon' have to crucify me." a la Jim Jones) decide he wanna deal with me, he will always know the rules. That's how I roll. You get the rules up front, point blank, straight no chaser.
So if he decide to dance this dance with me and feel he is "man" enough to break the rules, prepare to get left on the dancefloor boo.
'Cause I don't play that shit.
Aiight. Quittin' time. Else I'd get more into this subject. Maybe I'll get more in depth another day as far as how I developed my trademark "I don't need yo ass" attitude.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
"Doesn't it feel like Christmas? Feels so lovely...oh, so lovely."
I had to write about it.
I just wrote "Amsterdam" as "Amsterdamn".
And in the process of writing the previous sentence, I kept typing "Ambst.." and had to keep backspacing to fix it 'causa my first name and how it interferes with me writing any word that begins with "Am".
I can't write "America" without a problem either.
* Case in point, I just typed my whole first name and had to erase it because I typed it instead of "America" in the sentence above. *
I've also been laughing at myself all day for the fact that at the start of my daily commute, I prayed to the Lord to help me not be upset by anyone cutting me off in traffic. To help me just immediately get over the slight and keep it moving without my blood pressure rising.
What happens not minutes after I completed my prayer? I cut not one but TWO folks off in traffic. And BAD cut offs at that. Had they done it to me, I woulda been LIVID. So I had to pray all over again for the Lord to forgive my behavior. Even though it wasn't intentional. It just happened. But still.
I'm listening to Destiny's Child's "8 Days of Christmas". I'm all into Christmas songs during the holiday season. I LUH Crimmuh Songs. I really do.
My favorite is Yolanda Adams' "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" and Kirk Franklin and the Family's "Jesus is the Reason". I really get crunkeded when I hear those songs. They just do something to me.
Wait a doggon' minute. How could I forget A Few Good Men's "Silver Bells"?!?! Now THAT is my Crimmuh JAM!
Now, on a more serious note and because it's kinda on my conscience (but not really), I just wanna say that I love a working man. Especially a working man that does manual labor as part of their job. I really do. It's very sexy to me.
I just do not embrace the idea of interaction with men in my workplace. Whatsoever. I'm just not comfortable with it and I won't encourage it.
Mr. Construction Man #2 ('cause #1 had to learn the hard way before he was transferred in an incident not related to me and my thykness) decided to try and confront me as I did my best to breeze past him and his outright staring cohorts on the way to lunch. I heard a "hi" somewhere out of their little huddle, so I shot a quick but quiet "hi" back.
THEN Mr. CM#2 decides he wants to continue a conversation. Uh, that would be a NO. I politely shot him a quick but quiet "no" to whatever question he asked me (and the question was NOT "How is your day?" or anything to that effect) and kept it moving.
Just now, I timed my re-entry to the office perfectly so as not to catch their attention through the only door, in or out, that exists in the office, which they happened to be standing right by. It went very smoothly and at this very moment, I am alllll the way at the back of my office where they have no business even making their way to.
My thing is just have some decorum. Some. Not much. Just some. It's already enough that I'm the token BG up in here. I don't need your effort or assistance in blowin' up my spot by bringing any more attention my way.
For all these folks know, I'm a pure virgin that don't hardly know what a man looks like. Let's keep it that way.
Thanks.
Not but a few months ago, Mr. Contstruction Man #1 had me fielding questions left and right after it got to some folks that he was "lookin' at [me] like [I] was good enough to eat" (literally, that is what one of my coworkers said to me). And imagine, Mr. CM#1 ain't even know my name. So come on.
I like my work situation to be I come to work, I work, I go home. Don't nobody need to know my business, what I do in my personal life, who I'm dealing with and who I ain't. Periot. No ifs, ands or buts about it. No exceptions.
I like to compartmentalize my life and keep it that way. Things don't get messy when one side don't know about the other. Call it hiding, call it pretending, call it what you want.
You just won't call ME caught up in no mess AT WORK. 'Cause ain't NOTHIN' gon' compromise my paycheck. NOTHIN', ya heard? I wear that work mask and I wear it well. Don't get stomped on 'cause u don' decided u want to try and call me out.
Just don't do it.
Now let me get back to my "Hark the Herald Angels Sing". I BET NOT get no more interruptions either!
I just wrote "Amsterdam" as "Amsterdamn".
And in the process of writing the previous sentence, I kept typing "Ambst.." and had to keep backspacing to fix it 'causa my first name and how it interferes with me writing any word that begins with "Am".
I can't write "America" without a problem either.
* Case in point, I just typed my whole first name and had to erase it because I typed it instead of "America" in the sentence above. *
I've also been laughing at myself all day for the fact that at the start of my daily commute, I prayed to the Lord to help me not be upset by anyone cutting me off in traffic. To help me just immediately get over the slight and keep it moving without my blood pressure rising.
What happens not minutes after I completed my prayer? I cut not one but TWO folks off in traffic. And BAD cut offs at that. Had they done it to me, I woulda been LIVID. So I had to pray all over again for the Lord to forgive my behavior. Even though it wasn't intentional. It just happened. But still.
I'm listening to Destiny's Child's "8 Days of Christmas". I'm all into Christmas songs during the holiday season. I LUH Crimmuh Songs. I really do.
My favorite is Yolanda Adams' "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" and Kirk Franklin and the Family's "Jesus is the Reason". I really get crunkeded when I hear those songs. They just do something to me.
Wait a doggon' minute. How could I forget A Few Good Men's "Silver Bells"?!?! Now THAT is my Crimmuh JAM!
Now, on a more serious note and because it's kinda on my conscience (but not really), I just wanna say that I love a working man. Especially a working man that does manual labor as part of their job. I really do. It's very sexy to me.
I just do not embrace the idea of interaction with men in my workplace. Whatsoever. I'm just not comfortable with it and I won't encourage it.
Mr. Construction Man #2 ('cause #1 had to learn the hard way before he was transferred in an incident not related to me and my thykness) decided to try and confront me as I did my best to breeze past him and his outright staring cohorts on the way to lunch. I heard a "hi" somewhere out of their little huddle, so I shot a quick but quiet "hi" back.
THEN Mr. CM#2 decides he wants to continue a conversation. Uh, that would be a NO. I politely shot him a quick but quiet "no" to whatever question he asked me (and the question was NOT "How is your day?" or anything to that effect) and kept it moving.
Just now, I timed my re-entry to the office perfectly so as not to catch their attention through the only door, in or out, that exists in the office, which they happened to be standing right by. It went very smoothly and at this very moment, I am alllll the way at the back of my office where they have no business even making their way to.
My thing is just have some decorum. Some. Not much. Just some. It's already enough that I'm the token BG up in here. I don't need your effort or assistance in blowin' up my spot by bringing any more attention my way.
For all these folks know, I'm a pure virgin that don't hardly know what a man looks like. Let's keep it that way.
Thanks.
Not but a few months ago, Mr. Contstruction Man #1 had me fielding questions left and right after it got to some folks that he was "lookin' at [me] like [I] was good enough to eat" (literally, that is what one of my coworkers said to me). And imagine, Mr. CM#1 ain't even know my name. So come on.
I like my work situation to be I come to work, I work, I go home. Don't nobody need to know my business, what I do in my personal life, who I'm dealing with and who I ain't. Periot. No ifs, ands or buts about it. No exceptions.
I like to compartmentalize my life and keep it that way. Things don't get messy when one side don't know about the other. Call it hiding, call it pretending, call it what you want.
You just won't call ME caught up in no mess AT WORK. 'Cause ain't NOTHIN' gon' compromise my paycheck. NOTHIN', ya heard? I wear that work mask and I wear it well. Don't get stomped on 'cause u don' decided u want to try and call me out.
Just don't do it.
Now let me get back to my "Hark the Herald Angels Sing". I BET NOT get no more interruptions either!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
"But I'll have to put her right back with the rest. That's the way it goes...I guess."
"Bama" aka "Tha Sistahs" ain't win The Amazing Race.
I left my cookays in the oven too long - now they DRY.
The house smell like smoke 'cause my mama let the cheese from her slice of pizza fall all over the bottom of the oven so when I went to cook them DRY-ASS COOKAYS, smoke was billowing out da damn oven.
Some durmay (I heart Inetta!) cut me off in traffic this evening!
An old married man has a crush on me! UGH!
My TV I got for xmas last year decided to ACT UP as soon as the 1-year warranty has FINISHED UP.
Under regular circumstances, I would be THROUGH today.
But God is good.
And my little preemie cousin was so sweet while I babysat her this afternoon. She slept peacefully, allowing me to sleep peacefully.
Except when she was hungry. She only broke one plate and three glasses in her two-month-old screaming fit though, so it wasn't bad. I just kept telling myself to relax 'cause I was gettin' nervous at the thought that the neighbors might call them people on me thinkin' I was over there abusing the poor child.
She so cute though! Awwww! LOL.
And God is good. Yes he is. Mmmmhmmm.
I left my cookays in the oven too long - now they DRY.
The house smell like smoke 'cause my mama let the cheese from her slice of pizza fall all over the bottom of the oven so when I went to cook them DRY-ASS COOKAYS, smoke was billowing out da damn oven.
Some durmay (I heart Inetta!) cut me off in traffic this evening!
An old married man has a crush on me! UGH!
My TV I got for xmas last year decided to ACT UP as soon as the 1-year warranty has FINISHED UP.
Under regular circumstances, I would be THROUGH today.
But God is good.
And my little preemie cousin was so sweet while I babysat her this afternoon. She slept peacefully, allowing me to sleep peacefully.
Except when she was hungry. She only broke one plate and three glasses in her two-month-old screaming fit though, so it wasn't bad. I just kept telling myself to relax 'cause I was gettin' nervous at the thought that the neighbors might call them people on me thinkin' I was over there abusing the poor child.
She so cute though! Awwww! LOL.
And God is good. Yes he is. Mmmmhmmm.
Friday, December 8, 2006
"7:48! Where are my PANTIES?!?!"
* raising hand *
I have a confession.
I am a terrible listener.
Period.
ESPECIALLY when I'm doing something or have something I want to do.
I have the terrible habit of listening to people with my eyes and my ears.
When somebody is telling me a story, I face them full-on, nod and actively participate in the conversation.
Problem is, after I start to get bored with what they're saying (I swear I got ADD 'cause I can't stay focused on something for more than 5 minutes - I'm a flipper during commercials to the point where I can't remember what I was watching in the first place.), in my mind I'm going, "Oh LAWD! I can't take much more. Okay, they're going to stop...talking... PLEASE STOP TALKING RIGHT NOW!! PLEASE!!! Okay, what can I say to make them stop... Oh, okay. They're going to stop...right... SOMEBODY SAVE ME! I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MO'!!!!"
I take it for as much as I can. I torture myself until my mind and ears simply cannot take it anymore.
At that point, painful as it may be for me to do, I abruptly break eye contact, turn myself away from the person and proceed to do what it was I was waiting for them to finish talking so I could do.
I feel like a bad person for having to take such measures.
But damnit, I can only listen to so much.
I have a confession.
I am a terrible listener.
Period.
ESPECIALLY when I'm doing something or have something I want to do.
I have the terrible habit of listening to people with my eyes and my ears.
When somebody is telling me a story, I face them full-on, nod and actively participate in the conversation.
Problem is, after I start to get bored with what they're saying (I swear I got ADD 'cause I can't stay focused on something for more than 5 minutes - I'm a flipper during commercials to the point where I can't remember what I was watching in the first place.), in my mind I'm going, "Oh LAWD! I can't take much more. Okay, they're going to stop...talking... PLEASE STOP TALKING RIGHT NOW!! PLEASE!!! Okay, what can I say to make them stop... Oh, okay. They're going to stop...right... SOMEBODY SAVE ME! I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MO'!!!!"
I take it for as much as I can. I torture myself until my mind and ears simply cannot take it anymore.
At that point, painful as it may be for me to do, I abruptly break eye contact, turn myself away from the person and proceed to do what it was I was waiting for them to finish talking so I could do.
I feel like a bad person for having to take such measures.
But damnit, I can only listen to so much.
Thursday, December 7, 2006
"I shouldn't have to tell you - you should KNOW I'm a supastar!"
I found this article using the search "libras hypochondriacs". LOL!
It's SO true though! Even about me, Miss Capricorn herself! LOL.
Why You'd Never Want To Date A...
by Kim Rogers-Gallagher
Someone asked me why all "New Age" astrology is so damned positive. Isn't there anybody out there, they asked, who will focus on the negative qualities of the signs? Now, the individual asking that rather bitter question had just escaped from a short-lived but potent relationship with a Scorpio who did every single "Bad Scorpio Thing" ever catalogued. So I'm sure the leftover sting had something to do with the reason for the question. They had a point, though. Unless you want to flip back to one of them old fatalistic texts -- the kind where every paragraph begins with, "The native..." -- when was the last time you saw something written up about the awful side of this or that sign? What a concept, huh?
I mean, it's downright impossible nowadays to find anything bad written about any of the signs. It's not even Politically Astrologically Correct to use the words bad or good anymore. Everything is easy or harmonious, challenging or tending to be difficult. We've sugar-coated all the snap out of our descriptions of the signs rather than -- Goddess forbid! -- appear to stereotype anybody.
Still, stereotypes aren't stereotypes for nothing. If they didn't work, we wouldn't recognize them. Each of the signs certainly does have a distinctly negative expression, which we've all seen demonstrated -- in spades -- at one time or another. In fact, it seems we've all seen these traits exhibited by someone we've dated, but never, of course, until "The Ordeal" was over.
Well, once I got to thinking about it, I couldn't resist. I grabbed my 9th-house Mars in Scorpio and went to work. Take a look and see if you don't recognize at least one ex-someone in the descriptions below. Keep in mind that the more recent the end of "The Ordeal", the more recognizable these qualities will be. Clip them and stick them on your refrigerator for next time, or send the one that applies to the ex of your choice. Just have a good giggle and remember these aren't bad sign delineations. They're just descriptions of how challenging certain signs can be.
Aries:
Looking for a lover who's mature, gentle, thoughtful, considerate, and entirely unselfish? Well, then, don't even consider dating an Aries. They'll amaze you at their ability to stuff six "I's" into every sentence -- in between slamming doors, driving like a maniac, and screaming like an infant until they get what they want. Do they really throw temper tantrums? No, no, no!!! Are they hideously impatient? Oh, no, of course not. They're willing to wait at least 4-1/2 seconds for a seat in the restaurant right smack in the middle of the dinner hour, another 5 seconds after they're seated for the waitress to sprint to the table with the meal she's magically intuited they were about to order, another 7 seconds after their plate hits the table for the check, and they'll see you in the car when you're done! Oh, you're only on the salad? Are these Mars-ruled folks really as totally unaware of Others as they seem to be? Well, no, of course not. They know perfectly well there are Others in the world -- they refer to us as The Opponents.
Taurus:
Don't date a Taurus if you're not Looking For A Relationship, because once you ask them out they'll consider themselves engaged and want to shop for rings. If you are looking for an over-possessive materialist, get yourself a Taurus. Do date a Taurus if you enjoy eating huge, fattening meals in front of the television set every night, and you don't mind carrying a pager so they can reach you at any moment to ask you to stop at the grocery store on the way home. Are they really as stubborn and slow-moving as legend has it? Well, let's just say that if you're waiting for them to change their mind, you should definitely bring along something to read. And if you're waiting for them to get ready to do anything, be prepared to actually watch your nails grow ....
Gemini:
Geminis aren't nearly as fickle as folks make them out to be. They're just, oh,....easily distracted. If you're dating a Gemini, always have Plan B ready -- and make sure you drive. Be prepared to hear all about their childhood, several times, with no specifics spared. This sign is awfully fond of details, and each one is just as important as the next. In the middle of the story about the kid on the beach with the toy plane, you'll hear all about their grandmother's apron, their cousin Sally's first car, etc. Once they get talking, they probably won't notice if you leave the table. When you've heard enough about how Dad used to wear the green overalls to mow the lawn -- and the red cap when he weeded -- just head to the bathroom for a Time-Out. With any luck, when you come back, they'll be ready to wind things up with a description of the way the gym was decorated at their Senior Prom.
Cancer:
Cancers are known to be private types who are fond of their homes and very, very tight with their families. Don't ask them any personal questions for at least a year, regardless of whether or not you're married by then. However, if your idea of great fun is hanging out at their place with their mother and their children, doing needlepoint, looking at their baby pictures (again), reading cookbooks, and eating chocolate-chip cookies (making sure the shades are drawn so They can't see in), you've found your ideal match. Moody? Well, maybe a little, but only if you say something they take the wrong way -- which is every other sentence. Clingy? Only until they're sure you're really committed. Then they'll let you go out alone again. But not without your sun block, umbrella, and extra sweater -- just in case.
Leo:
Looking for an easygoing, low-maintenance, and independent partner? Someone who can always roll with the punches, never takes anything personally, and is always able to separate their ego from the situation at hand? Well, then avoid Leos at all costs. If you're dating a Leo, you're going to need lots of Power Naps because these folks are as high-maintenance as they come. If you can manage to call and/or stop by to tell them they look good, did good, and that the color of the sweater they're wearing really brings out their eyes -- at least 18 times a day -- they'll be mildly placated. If you don't, they'll pout and say you don't love them anymore. Too bad the reason you didn't call was because you were having surgery. Couldn't someone else dial the phone for you? Be prepared for your life to turn into a soap opera, too. With Leo, High Drama is the only way to go, and Big Entrances and Big Exits, are the only way to get there. Most important of all, don't ever stand in their spotlight -- which is anywhere people gather in groups of more than one.
Virgo:
If you're thinking of dating a Virgo, your best bet is to invest in a lint brush, some spearmint dental floss, and an expensive pair of double-thick, lined, sanitized, yellow rubber gloves. Are they all obsessive neat freaks? Absolutely not. They will, however, grade you on a daily basis-- lint accumulation in your navel, leftover sesame seeds in your teeth, or an untidy bathroom bowl will count for Big Points off your GPA. Once you've passed The Neatness Test, however, get ready to experience such rollicking good times as helping them alphabetize their CD's, rearrange their silverware drawer, and vacuum the car -- again. Are they all hypochondriacs? Well, maybe not, but how many other people do you know who own 27 Revised Annual Editions of the Physician's Desktop Handbook of Symptoms?
Libra:
Don't ever ask a Libra a question that involves a choice unless you want to camp out wherever you happen to be while they're trying to choose. They're not famous for their decision-making abilities. If you want to date a Libra, tell them what you want them to wear before you get there, pick them up, take them where you want to go, and order for them. You'll have a wonderful time -- which is all that counts, in their minds. Do Libras lie? No, they don't... well, maybe a little... okay, it depends. If they know you really want to hear the truth, then truth it is -- 100%. If truth is not what they know you're in the mood for, they'll smile, ask you what you think, and agree. That's not lying, is it? It's just that they care so very much about your happiness -- truly. Never mind the fact they'll also smile, listen, and agree when your arch-enemy tells their side of the story seconds later, while you're in the bathroom. Of course, that's not likely to happen, i.e., you going anywhere without your Libra lover. These folks don't like to do anything alone or go anywhere without you -- not even there.
Scorpio:
Looking for a lover who will automatically suspect you of lying at all times? Someone who will be obsessively jealous of everyone around you, regardless of their age or sex? Want a relationship with someone who will squint suspiciously at you, at least once a day, and ask what you really meant by that? If so, you've found your match -- or, actually, they've found you. They'll continue finding you, too, no matter where you hide. Just look out back in those bushes. That's them in the black tights -- with the binoculars. Oh, it might seem a bit psychotic at first, but you'll get used to it. Keeping you in their sights is just Scorpio's way of saying, I Love You.
Sagittarius:
Getting a Sag to fall for you is a piece of cake. They're really good at falling, tripping, stumbling, etc. In fact, Sags can injure themselves worse just walking down the street than most people can from being involved in a major car accident. If you're looking for a real klutz who's totally excessive, unable to shut up, be discreet, or have "just a slice" of anything, you're in luck. Oh, your Sag lover will also fancy themselves to be your teacher, too. So listen carefully in between burps, and you, too, will learn how to be gluttonous, loud, pompous, and obnoxious -- in public -- while telling the horrified people at the next table to just Loosen Up.
Capricorn:
Are you in the market for a lover who's ultra responsible, In Charge, and Right On Top Of Things? In other words, a workaholic who takes their organizer, cell-phone, and portable fax machine everywhere, and wears a pin-striped suit everywhere (even hiking), just in case an important new contact comes along? Well, sign right here. Your Capricorn lover will never go off duty -- never. In between bites of dinner, they'll sell off their BioTech holdings, fire the entire art department, and phone their secretary to tell them to phone the cleaners to make sure their shirts are ready to be picked up next Thursday at 5:30. Conversation? Oh, with you, you mean? Why? Is there something you need to say? Laughter? Why? Is there nothing serious to talk about?
Aquarius:
If you just adore folks with hot pink hair (on the half of their head that isn't shaved), rows of small pierced silver rings in the most interesting places, and wardrobes full of nothing but purple Peruvian vests, sunglasses, Grateful Dead t-shirts, and Birkenstocks, get yourself one of these. Think of how easy it will be to shop for them! Long known for their love of Causes, and their quirky but, like, totally hip behavior, you and your Aquarius lover will enjoy all kinds of important activities together. You can install (more) Question Authority bumper stickers on the back of their VW van, go to coffee houses where it is an accepted rule that no one speaks while the sitar player is plinking (unless it's to say "Wow, Really"), and march in demonstrations to protest for the Cause of the Month. Like, go for it ....
Pisces:
Is your ideal lover someone who just loves "Air Supply" and Barry Manilow? Someone who starts crying at the beginning of Walt Disney reruns? Are you looking for someone with thirteen cats, seven dogs, and a three-legged ferret -- in a four-room apartment? If so, you need a Pisces. It's not true that they never get out of bed or away from the television set. If you can find their clothes, and give them very specific instructions on what to do with them, you can even take them out -- but understand that they will only want to go to The Movies, to the Pool, or Out For A Drink. No matter where you take them, they'll have no idea where they are or how they got there. Are they really all that easily confused? Huh?
© Kim Rogers-Gallagher - all rights reserved.
Oh yeah, as far as Libras being hypochondriacs, I noticed that Virgos were most listed as being hypochondriacs. Which I found interesting, 'cause the ones that I've encountered never seem to be sick...
Can't always trust that Astrology, I guess. :)
It's SO true though! Even about me, Miss Capricorn herself! LOL.
by Kim Rogers-Gallagher
Someone asked me why all "New Age" astrology is so damned positive. Isn't there anybody out there, they asked, who will focus on the negative qualities of the signs? Now, the individual asking that rather bitter question had just escaped from a short-lived but potent relationship with a Scorpio who did every single "Bad Scorpio Thing" ever catalogued. So I'm sure the leftover sting had something to do with the reason for the question. They had a point, though. Unless you want to flip back to one of them old fatalistic texts -- the kind where every paragraph begins with, "The native..." -- when was the last time you saw something written up about the awful side of this or that sign? What a concept, huh?
I mean, it's downright impossible nowadays to find anything bad written about any of the signs. It's not even Politically Astrologically Correct to use the words bad or good anymore. Everything is easy or harmonious, challenging or tending to be difficult. We've sugar-coated all the snap out of our descriptions of the signs rather than -- Goddess forbid! -- appear to stereotype anybody.
Still, stereotypes aren't stereotypes for nothing. If they didn't work, we wouldn't recognize them. Each of the signs certainly does have a distinctly negative expression, which we've all seen demonstrated -- in spades -- at one time or another. In fact, it seems we've all seen these traits exhibited by someone we've dated, but never, of course, until "The Ordeal" was over.
Well, once I got to thinking about it, I couldn't resist. I grabbed my 9th-house Mars in Scorpio and went to work. Take a look and see if you don't recognize at least one ex-someone in the descriptions below. Keep in mind that the more recent the end of "The Ordeal", the more recognizable these qualities will be. Clip them and stick them on your refrigerator for next time, or send the one that applies to the ex of your choice. Just have a good giggle and remember these aren't bad sign delineations. They're just descriptions of how challenging certain signs can be.
Aries:
Looking for a lover who's mature, gentle, thoughtful, considerate, and entirely unselfish? Well, then, don't even consider dating an Aries. They'll amaze you at their ability to stuff six "I's" into every sentence -- in between slamming doors, driving like a maniac, and screaming like an infant until they get what they want. Do they really throw temper tantrums? No, no, no!!! Are they hideously impatient? Oh, no, of course not. They're willing to wait at least 4-1/2 seconds for a seat in the restaurant right smack in the middle of the dinner hour, another 5 seconds after they're seated for the waitress to sprint to the table with the meal she's magically intuited they were about to order, another 7 seconds after their plate hits the table for the check, and they'll see you in the car when you're done! Oh, you're only on the salad? Are these Mars-ruled folks really as totally unaware of Others as they seem to be? Well, no, of course not. They know perfectly well there are Others in the world -- they refer to us as The Opponents.
Taurus:
Don't date a Taurus if you're not Looking For A Relationship, because once you ask them out they'll consider themselves engaged and want to shop for rings. If you are looking for an over-possessive materialist, get yourself a Taurus. Do date a Taurus if you enjoy eating huge, fattening meals in front of the television set every night, and you don't mind carrying a pager so they can reach you at any moment to ask you to stop at the grocery store on the way home. Are they really as stubborn and slow-moving as legend has it? Well, let's just say that if you're waiting for them to change their mind, you should definitely bring along something to read. And if you're waiting for them to get ready to do anything, be prepared to actually watch your nails grow ....
Gemini:
Geminis aren't nearly as fickle as folks make them out to be. They're just, oh,....easily distracted. If you're dating a Gemini, always have Plan B ready -- and make sure you drive. Be prepared to hear all about their childhood, several times, with no specifics spared. This sign is awfully fond of details, and each one is just as important as the next. In the middle of the story about the kid on the beach with the toy plane, you'll hear all about their grandmother's apron, their cousin Sally's first car, etc. Once they get talking, they probably won't notice if you leave the table. When you've heard enough about how Dad used to wear the green overalls to mow the lawn -- and the red cap when he weeded -- just head to the bathroom for a Time-Out. With any luck, when you come back, they'll be ready to wind things up with a description of the way the gym was decorated at their Senior Prom.
Cancer:
Cancers are known to be private types who are fond of their homes and very, very tight with their families. Don't ask them any personal questions for at least a year, regardless of whether or not you're married by then. However, if your idea of great fun is hanging out at their place with their mother and their children, doing needlepoint, looking at their baby pictures (again), reading cookbooks, and eating chocolate-chip cookies (making sure the shades are drawn so They can't see in), you've found your ideal match. Moody? Well, maybe a little, but only if you say something they take the wrong way -- which is every other sentence. Clingy? Only until they're sure you're really committed. Then they'll let you go out alone again. But not without your sun block, umbrella, and extra sweater -- just in case.
Leo:
Looking for an easygoing, low-maintenance, and independent partner? Someone who can always roll with the punches, never takes anything personally, and is always able to separate their ego from the situation at hand? Well, then avoid Leos at all costs. If you're dating a Leo, you're going to need lots of Power Naps because these folks are as high-maintenance as they come. If you can manage to call and/or stop by to tell them they look good, did good, and that the color of the sweater they're wearing really brings out their eyes -- at least 18 times a day -- they'll be mildly placated. If you don't, they'll pout and say you don't love them anymore. Too bad the reason you didn't call was because you were having surgery. Couldn't someone else dial the phone for you? Be prepared for your life to turn into a soap opera, too. With Leo, High Drama is the only way to go, and Big Entrances and Big Exits, are the only way to get there. Most important of all, don't ever stand in their spotlight -- which is anywhere people gather in groups of more than one.
Virgo:
If you're thinking of dating a Virgo, your best bet is to invest in a lint brush, some spearmint dental floss, and an expensive pair of double-thick, lined, sanitized, yellow rubber gloves. Are they all obsessive neat freaks? Absolutely not. They will, however, grade you on a daily basis-- lint accumulation in your navel, leftover sesame seeds in your teeth, or an untidy bathroom bowl will count for Big Points off your GPA. Once you've passed The Neatness Test, however, get ready to experience such rollicking good times as helping them alphabetize their CD's, rearrange their silverware drawer, and vacuum the car -- again. Are they all hypochondriacs? Well, maybe not, but how many other people do you know who own 27 Revised Annual Editions of the Physician's Desktop Handbook of Symptoms?
Libra:
Don't ever ask a Libra a question that involves a choice unless you want to camp out wherever you happen to be while they're trying to choose. They're not famous for their decision-making abilities. If you want to date a Libra, tell them what you want them to wear before you get there, pick them up, take them where you want to go, and order for them. You'll have a wonderful time -- which is all that counts, in their minds. Do Libras lie? No, they don't... well, maybe a little... okay, it depends. If they know you really want to hear the truth, then truth it is -- 100%. If truth is not what they know you're in the mood for, they'll smile, ask you what you think, and agree. That's not lying, is it? It's just that they care so very much about your happiness -- truly. Never mind the fact they'll also smile, listen, and agree when your arch-enemy tells their side of the story seconds later, while you're in the bathroom. Of course, that's not likely to happen, i.e., you going anywhere without your Libra lover. These folks don't like to do anything alone or go anywhere without you -- not even there.
Scorpio:
Looking for a lover who will automatically suspect you of lying at all times? Someone who will be obsessively jealous of everyone around you, regardless of their age or sex? Want a relationship with someone who will squint suspiciously at you, at least once a day, and ask what you really meant by that? If so, you've found your match -- or, actually, they've found you. They'll continue finding you, too, no matter where you hide. Just look out back in those bushes. That's them in the black tights -- with the binoculars. Oh, it might seem a bit psychotic at first, but you'll get used to it. Keeping you in their sights is just Scorpio's way of saying, I Love You.
Sagittarius:
Getting a Sag to fall for you is a piece of cake. They're really good at falling, tripping, stumbling, etc. In fact, Sags can injure themselves worse just walking down the street than most people can from being involved in a major car accident. If you're looking for a real klutz who's totally excessive, unable to shut up, be discreet, or have "just a slice" of anything, you're in luck. Oh, your Sag lover will also fancy themselves to be your teacher, too. So listen carefully in between burps, and you, too, will learn how to be gluttonous, loud, pompous, and obnoxious -- in public -- while telling the horrified people at the next table to just Loosen Up.
Capricorn:
Are you in the market for a lover who's ultra responsible, In Charge, and Right On Top Of Things? In other words, a workaholic who takes their organizer, cell-phone, and portable fax machine everywhere, and wears a pin-striped suit everywhere (even hiking), just in case an important new contact comes along? Well, sign right here. Your Capricorn lover will never go off duty -- never. In between bites of dinner, they'll sell off their BioTech holdings, fire the entire art department, and phone their secretary to tell them to phone the cleaners to make sure their shirts are ready to be picked up next Thursday at 5:30. Conversation? Oh, with you, you mean? Why? Is there something you need to say? Laughter? Why? Is there nothing serious to talk about?
Aquarius:
If you just adore folks with hot pink hair (on the half of their head that isn't shaved), rows of small pierced silver rings in the most interesting places, and wardrobes full of nothing but purple Peruvian vests, sunglasses, Grateful Dead t-shirts, and Birkenstocks, get yourself one of these. Think of how easy it will be to shop for them! Long known for their love of Causes, and their quirky but, like, totally hip behavior, you and your Aquarius lover will enjoy all kinds of important activities together. You can install (more) Question Authority bumper stickers on the back of their VW van, go to coffee houses where it is an accepted rule that no one speaks while the sitar player is plinking (unless it's to say "Wow, Really"), and march in demonstrations to protest for the Cause of the Month. Like, go for it ....
Pisces:
Is your ideal lover someone who just loves "Air Supply" and Barry Manilow? Someone who starts crying at the beginning of Walt Disney reruns? Are you looking for someone with thirteen cats, seven dogs, and a three-legged ferret -- in a four-room apartment? If so, you need a Pisces. It's not true that they never get out of bed or away from the television set. If you can find their clothes, and give them very specific instructions on what to do with them, you can even take them out -- but understand that they will only want to go to The Movies, to the Pool, or Out For A Drink. No matter where you take them, they'll have no idea where they are or how they got there. Are they really all that easily confused? Huh?
© Kim Rogers-Gallagher - all rights reserved.
Oh yeah, as far as Libras being hypochondriacs, I noticed that Virgos were most listed as being hypochondriacs. Which I found interesting, 'cause the ones that I've encountered never seem to be sick...
Can't always trust that Astrology, I guess. :)
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
"I feel so LADY when I'm with you, when I'm 'round you..."
I know I'm too into liquor when everytime I see the word "patron", I say it as "Patron" and the actions related to it.
i.e.: "Witnesses said a patron of the store saw the crime take place."
My eyes read: "Witnesses said a shot of Patron was given away in the store."
Shameful, I know.
Oh well.
I don't know what's going on with me as of yesterday.
I walked out of my office and, upon exiting the building, realized that it was raining. Not hard drops, but a full-out rain, nonetheless. Me and my head full of curls were not happy to see such a sight but I was not about to trek all the way back to my office to get my standby umbrella.
So I rushed out, tryna scurry but be cute without bussin' every part of my ass on the wet ground. As I'm approaching my car, I see that there is a piece of paper lodged under my windshield wiper. I realized that it was not a note from some secret admirer as my eyes started to focus on that familiar orange line at the top of the paper - a damn parking ticket.
It was not hard to resist the urge to laugh at the absurdity of the way my situation was going down, being as how I was still trying to remain upright and, by that point, not get run over by non-paying-attention drivers who were playing the stutter-drive/step as I was trying to escape the damn rain.
Nevertheless, even with wet feet and cold fingers, I started the car and went along my way as if nothing had happened.
I just couldn't be upset.
And that struck me as strange. Very strange. Very, very strange.
Because even though Virginia ain't around, that sequence of events would have caused me to be LIVID any other day. Yelling and screaming and catchin' some nasty road rage all the way home.
So my calmness was quite shocking to me. Frankly, it made me nervous. What happened to the Queen B in me?!?!?
I don't know. Either way, I don't mind her absence. It's just a bit puzzling.
I hope it's a piece of a new me? Maybe? Hopefully.
I'd like to get to a point where insignificant ish does not bother me anymore. I'll put more energy into it for the '07.
I'm gonna put a lot of energy into being positive and carrying positive energy along with me in '07.
i.e.: "Witnesses said a patron of the store saw the crime take place."
My eyes read: "Witnesses said a shot of Patron was given away in the store."
Shameful, I know.
Oh well.
I don't know what's going on with me as of yesterday.
I walked out of my office and, upon exiting the building, realized that it was raining. Not hard drops, but a full-out rain, nonetheless. Me and my head full of curls were not happy to see such a sight but I was not about to trek all the way back to my office to get my standby umbrella.
So I rushed out, tryna scurry but be cute without bussin' every part of my ass on the wet ground. As I'm approaching my car, I see that there is a piece of paper lodged under my windshield wiper. I realized that it was not a note from some secret admirer as my eyes started to focus on that familiar orange line at the top of the paper - a damn parking ticket.
It was not hard to resist the urge to laugh at the absurdity of the way my situation was going down, being as how I was still trying to remain upright and, by that point, not get run over by non-paying-attention drivers who were playing the stutter-drive/step as I was trying to escape the damn rain.
Nevertheless, even with wet feet and cold fingers, I started the car and went along my way as if nothing had happened.
I just couldn't be upset.
And that struck me as strange. Very strange. Very, very strange.
Because even though Virginia ain't around, that sequence of events would have caused me to be LIVID any other day. Yelling and screaming and catchin' some nasty road rage all the way home.
So my calmness was quite shocking to me. Frankly, it made me nervous. What happened to the Queen B in me?!?!?
I don't know. Either way, I don't mind her absence. It's just a bit puzzling.
I hope it's a piece of a new me? Maybe? Hopefully.
I'd like to get to a point where insignificant ish does not bother me anymore. I'll put more energy into it for the '07.
I'm gonna put a lot of energy into being positive and carrying positive energy along with me in '07.
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
"Baby U Got What I Need"
LEMME TELL YA SUMTHIN'!!!
'Member Fi.re Mar.sha.ll B.ill on I.n L.ivin.g Co.lo.r?!?! LOL!!!
Okay, back to my confession.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE me some Bilal. (no dots necessary - I WANT his ass to find me!! LOL!)
That fool be sayin' some thangs, ya heard? He REALLY be breakin' this ish down, FA REAL.
In "When Will You Call?", homeboy said:
No shame in his game. None, whatsoever.
He put it all out there. How hurt he was. How surprised he was. How confused he was.
On the live version of the song, during the breakdown, this fool says:
Come on now! Lyrical genius, yes yes! Mmmmhmmm!
I gotta see his ass again live in my lifetime. If I gotta travel again to do it, so be it. But I will be seeing him perform live again.
I was just listenin' to "White Turns to Gray" off his unreleased album "Love for Sale".
Damn boy.
I bet not EVA catch him in the streets by hisself! He will be gettin' abducted. I'll release him back to the public when I'm good and ready. Mmmmhmmm.
Okay. Let me stop. I ain't tryna cause a scene up in dis piece.
But I'm sayin' tho!
Mmm mmm mmm.
'Member Fi.re Mar.sha.ll B.ill on I.n L.ivin.g Co.lo.r?!?! LOL!!!
Okay, back to my confession.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE me some Bilal. (no dots necessary - I WANT his ass to find me!! LOL!)
That fool be sayin' some thangs, ya heard? He REALLY be breakin' this ish down, FA REAL.
In "When Will You Call?", homeboy said:
I gets no notice, no letter
You just packed your shit and LEFT
Girl, I deserve better
Treated you like no one else
How could you?
You know I love you and I thought this love was true
Now, we're through
What I'm gonna do?
Gotta start a new life without you
When will you call?
No shame in his game. None, whatsoever.
He put it all out there. How hurt he was. How surprised he was. How confused he was.
On the live version of the song, during the breakdown, this fool says:
Why don't you just call me baby?
I've been staying up all night
Worryin' 'bout you baby won't you just call me
I'm waiting for your call, waiting for your call...
Waiting for you to just
Sing a word in my ear
Let me know that you're here forever
Baby, baby
I'll dial it for you!
Oh, when will you call?
Why'd I have to call you?!
Come on now! Lyrical genius, yes yes! Mmmmhmmm!
I gotta see his ass again live in my lifetime. If I gotta travel again to do it, so be it. But I will be seeing him perform live again.
I was just listenin' to "White Turns to Gray" off his unreleased album "Love for Sale".
Damn boy.
I bet not EVA catch him in the streets by hisself! He will be gettin' abducted. I'll release him back to the public when I'm good and ready. Mmmmhmmm.
Change white to gray
I laid with you
And felt your body reach its peak
Did I hear you say
"Come harder, baby"
So I can feel your legs vibrate
Okay. Let me stop. I ain't tryna cause a scene up in dis piece.
But I'm sayin' tho!
Mmm mmm mmm.
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